Quotes from Interviews Used in the Book

  • Marcela, nuclear engineer: "I would never ask for [a bonus]. If it wasn't freely given, I wouldn't ask for it. I might gripe about it at home, but that would be the extent of it."
  • Ellen, senior partner at a law firm:"[My father told me], 'Honey, you know you can't act like a tiger. You have to act like a kitten.'"
  • Becky, a journalist: "When I go into a negotiation . . . I think about maintaining that relationship before I think about my own [needs] really."
  • Gabriela, symphony orchestra general manger: "I just said thank you [for a raise]. . . . [The board members] are probably wondering-how good can she be at negotiating [for the orchestra] if she can't even negotiate for herself."
  • Susannah, political strategist: "I just feel so guilty. I worry that I'm putting them in a difficult situation, especially if I'm asking for something that I think will be hard for them to give to me."
  • Eleanor, literature professor and biographer: "When it came down to it, I backed down because I didn't want [my editor] to hate me."
  • Lindsey, research chemist: "I get so nervous in negotiating that I capitulate very quickly."
  • Helena, advertising executive: "I'm better at asking for other people, and I can be really direct . . . but not so much for myself."
  • Stephanie, administrative assistant: "I tend to think people are pretty fair, so maybe I'm too trusting and expect that I'm getting what I deserve in that I work really hard."
  • Christine, investment banker: "I think it's up to the people that you work for . . . to identify [superior work] and keep current with what's in the industry."
  • Angela, marketing director: "I don't think I ever want something that's that far out of my reach."
  • Joan, magazine editor: "I was so naïve and clueless, and I just had never really made a lot of money in my life, and I didn't need a lot of money, so what I asked for seemed like a lot of money. And it was just not a lot of money."
  • Lory, theater production manager: "I have a hard time putting a monetary figure on the work that I do."
  • Emma, social science researcher: "I realized . . . that I could have really negotiated for much more. . . but I didn't. Because I accepted, 'Oh, I want to tie in with the range. I should feel lucky I have this job.




In surveys, 2.5 times more women than men said they feel "a great deal of apprehension" about negotiating

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