Negotiating

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Posted by Carole Mackey on November 24, 2003 at 14:01:49:

My husband recommended your website to me this morning as I was due to meet with the VP of my department regarding a long overdue review, merit increase and promotion.

I have been in this position before and your website helped me remember why I have been successful at negotiating in the past.

Your comments about the most effective style for women to take in negotiating (friendly, win-win) is valid. I work in a male dominated field (high tech), I am not an engineer, and I specialize in a profession in which engineers are not generally known to be adept (communications), so I potentially sit at the bottom of the professional pecking order at my company although I have advanced degrees and many years of experience.

My biggest obstacle has not been initiating negotiation or the style which I use. I am good at both. The biggest obstacle that I have is knowing when to stop being patient with the "proper channels" and go to the top to ask for what I deserve.

I have found that middle management seems to delay extra/requested compensation/promotions about as long as we'll let them. Whether this is due to insecurity in their jobs or unfair political pressure on them from above is not clear to me. But people at the top have the clout to make decisions and generally know the value you hold in your profession and your current or desired position.

In order to set up the environment for a non-agressive negotiation in this situation, I research what I am worth on the market, I print and save e-mails containing kudos for my work, I keep my resume very up to date (with my recent accomplishments on and off the job) and in a friendly, firm and professional manner, I request the type of projects I want and the salary that I believe corresponds to the type of work, my education and my experience. In addition, I track the progress of my requests with friendly (status checking) e-mails which then hold people accountable to the dates and content of their promises.

I also am not afraid to mention colleagues who received similar choice projects or promotions.


I usually use my annual review as the opportune time to initiate the negotiation with my direct manager. However, if there are delays in their decisions or unwarranted reasons for not giving me what I've asked for, I request a confidential meeting via e-mail with HR. At this meeting I ask for clarification on why the company (not my manager) cannot meet my request.

If things don't seem to move along or the clarifications do not hold water in my opinion, I request a confidential meeting with my manager's manager (again via company e-mail) and I take all of my documentation with me and make my case.

Reasons for not giving you what you ask for when you're pretty sure that you deserve it are just opinions. Find and document support for why those opinions are in error. Negotiating is like a mystery novel. Keep turning the pages. If a company wants to get rid of you for asking good, efficient questions about their policies and promotion practices, you probably don't want to work there.

If you're uncomfortable with the confidential meetings, figure out why and fix it. These are vital to your strategy. For example, I always need to go into the bathroom and do 100 jumping jacks right before the meeting to get the blood back into my limbs because I am so nervous. I also write down all of my points in the right order, take all of my documentation with me along with a bottle of water because my mouth gets dry when I negotiate. I begin the meeting on an upbeat note by expressing my appreciation of their time. Then I assure them that I will use their time well and start into my list, mentioning the support that I have for each item. All of this has helped me tremendously.

My negotiating is all done in a win-win, non-aggressive manner because it is just business. Granted it's business that affects my life, my future, and my family, but negotiating is just the business of "transacting" my worth in a job; it is not a measure of my worth professionally or personally.

Finally, there's integrity. I have always proven through my actions and speech that I can be trusted and that I support my company, my colleagues and my management. I do not get involved in rampant politics and I deliver on my responsibilities without fail. I am a balanced and friendly person willing to help out in a pinch yet able to speak the truth in front of anyone in the company.

There are many, many ingredients involved in succussful negotiation, many of them more challenging than gender. I have prevailed against the odds many times, but I prepare myself constantly by investing in myself first with education, health, family, etc.

Successful negotiation also takes patience, perseverence and faith in the goodness of yourself and others. Find the goodness in youself, document it, and then don't stop until you find that part of someone in the company (or outside) which cannot deny you what you ask for and deserve.



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